starla37

This post probably won't make much sense as it's currently past 2am in the morning and I'm not feeling 100% healthy either, so I must apologise in advance lol. More than likely I'll delete this tomorrow :)

I'm sorry I haven't been around much at all, I do miss LJ in general but it's been so busy moving house and all that jazz plus only just got internet back today after a whole week without it!! It was horrible and I don't want to do that again any time soon.

I've been in a weird mood recently, I blame being so bloody bored without the internet, as it made me start thinking about various things which usually I avoid dwelling on. I don't normally think too much about the past as you can't change it and you need to move on but I guess also finally getting my own place has made me think too. I am actually pretty happy with my life in general and I really am so lucky in so many ways but then I think about him and I can't help but think how things may have turned out differently. It's really idiotic of me to even think that, as honestly it never would have worked for so many reasons and in truth, we really were bad for each other but he's the only guy I've ever really loved and I don't see that changing anytime soon either. I know that mostly that's my own fault and I'm my own worst enemy in that respect but that's who I am and I know I can't change that either. I actually don't know what I'm trying to say here or if this makes any sense at all but I guess it helps to write it down anyway.

I will try and do a proper post that actually isn't just me rambling on at some unearthly hour in the morning. I will also try and get back into the swing of things here and start commenting etc again. If any of you who don't already know, you can find me on twitter, same username, I'm pretty much always there nowadays lol. 

Really should try and get some much needed sleep now :)

 

Well it feels like ages since I posted here (well actually it is lol!). I feel like I've kinda been neglecting LJ a bit but I guess I've been busy and other things like Twitter have been distracting me. I'm so hopelessly addicted to the damn thing it's not even funny..... :/  I haven't written any fics recently either which is a bit depressing but I has no inspiration at all at the moment. I have tried but it just ends up either really crap or I get stuck.

F1 has been really pissing me off recently with all the stupid crash-gate shit that is going on and I really officially give up on Toyota :(

But on a positive but very stressful note I've got a moving date finally - 30th Sept!! Well I get the keys then but will be staggering the moving, so it'll probably more like moving month knowing me!! I have so much to do, choosing a bed, fridge and furniture and so on, not to mention all the other little niggly things you have to do. I feel so unprepared and honestly have done bugger all for it so far. I just can't seem to motivate myself to do any of it. I feel all stressed already, god knows what I'll be like when it gets nearer the time to move - already not sleeping well and poor appetite :/

I think that is all that is on my mind - so end of rambling!

So first off in case I forget this tomorrow (is not quite past midnight here yet lol)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY blackember  Hope you have a wonderful day and enjoy yourself!! :)

Otherwise for me it wasn't such a great day what with the F1 and all. I just don't know what to say about Jarno and bloody stupid Toyota, will it ever go right for them???? Anyway I'm over that now - shows you what quite a few glasses of wine can do for you :p *is still a little sloshed*

But one good thing is that seemingly out of nowhere I think I'm falling for Kimi a bit! Actually I did used to like him quite a bit before but then I dunno he kinda went missing for a while but suddenly he's back to the old Kimi (for me anyway), back to the fighting, never give up Kimi which is great!! Plus OMG his hair is just gah so pretty and long and sexy at the moment <3 I don't know but long hair on drivers is seriously my undoing....

I don't know how but I seemingly have also got addicted to Twitter, I think it may be a phase though as I do tend to get obsessed with things quickly then go off them almost as quick but we'll see.......

So I could probably drivel on about other things but I won't bore you all with anything else now ;)

Feeling so depressed right now having read earlier that it was unlikely that Toyota are going to re-sign Jarno for next year and now have just read this www.autosport.com/news/report.php/id/77894 it's just confirmed my worst fear that Jarno won't be in F1 next year. I just feel so sad and angry. I can't imagine F1 without him, he's been my fave driver for so long now and no-one will ever replace him in my mind. I know that obviously there are worse things but still the thought of not seeing him at every race next year is just so awful and so depressing. I know that his career was coming to an end but I hoped he'd be there at least one or two more seasons.

I also feel so sad for him that he's given the second half of his career to Toyota, all those loyal years and they never gave him the car that he deserved - this year is a prime example, they had a great car for once and in spite of that they've still managed to fuck it up. Honestly this year I think they're the only team that has got worse, everyone else has got better, even Force India WTF?? but not Toyota. I know I'm biased but really who else can they employ that will be better than Jarno?? I think I'd better stop this now before I get carried away but all I can say is that I really hope they change their minds and decide to keep him. Of course there is the small possibility of him going to another team but I think that would only be to an even worse team and I wouldn't want that for Jarno, going to a Force India like Fisi to trundle around at the back of the grid, that'd be a really crappy end to his career. Jarno deserves better than that.

( Brighton )

We're planning to go back again as we didn't get to go in the Royal Pavillion or on the Volks railway as we spent a lot of time on the pier and on the beach so we ran out of time in the end.

In other news, it's looking like I won't be moving into my new place as soon as I thought, my solicitors are still 'chasing enquiries' etc but I'm hoping that in spite of that, contracts will be exchanged by end of August *fingers crossed* Seriously I can't wait!

Also I've pretty much decided on giving up on my Summer Slash fic, I've got stuck again and honestly much of what I've written is just crap anyway. I just can't think of anything shorter or simpler to write :(

ETA ( Some photos as requested.... )

Well have always assumed that at some point that I would get another tattoo but somehow I've never got around to it. I guess partly due to indecision, not being sure what to get and where etc. Over the weekend was randomly searching things on google and I came across this drawing (see below) and I can so see it as a tattoo. It's strange I never considered getting a tattoo of a frog before even though I have a kind of affinity to them (my lovely brother used to call me frog-face when I was little and it kinda stuck) plus I used to collect them when I was younger. So it would make sense really.

At the moment am pretty sure that I want to get it done but we'll see. I still really like my other 2 tattoos and as yet don't regret them at all and I really like this design, so why not?? What do you think???

( My new tattoo...maybe?? )

Firstly, have just read this story uk.news.yahoo.com/5/20090719/tod-gay-penguins-split-in-love-triangle-870a197.html I just had to share this in case any of you missed it. How sad but funny at the same time (or maybe that's just me??) You wouldn't know but penguins are my fave animals and this just makes adore them even more :)  I think I may go look for a penguin icon XDDDD

In other news am in a much, much better mood now and thanks for everyone who commented and sent nice thoughts to me last week *hugs* Have also made a little progress on my Summer Slash fic but still a long way to go but at least I feel like writing it now.


ETA: Got a new penguin icon!! :D

I feel like I need to just have a little rant and wallow in feeling sorry for myself, so please skip over.

( Me feeling sorry for myself...blahh )

In other unrelated news, I'm really struggling with my Summer Slash story. It's the first year that I've entered and so far it's going very slowly, I have an idea and an outline but everything I'm writing right now is just crap. Hopefully inspiration will strike soon but in my current mood I just can't be bothered with it but time is plodding on and it'll be the end of August in no time.

I think I may treat myself and watch one of my all-time fave movies Annie, it never fails to put me in a good mood, so fingers crossed :)

Ok, so here are some more Jarno piccies (no comments this time). I was kinda complaining to zeraparker  about how hard it was just picking a few piccies for the Show and Tell thing at everythingf1 and she was asking for more and since I have way too many lovely Jarno pics I thought I would share some more.....

( Jarno at Renault )

The gals at everythingf1 were asking for us to share our fave F1 pictures, so I thought I'd post them here too :)
( I present to you Mr Jarno Trulli )

I've just been watching all the news tributes on the TV and I wanted to write some things down here. I just find the whole thing, his life and how it turned out in the end, so incredibly sad. I'm still a little shell-shocked really.

When I was a lot younger I was a huge fan of his, his Bad album was the first album I ever owned. I remember asking for it for my birthday when I was probably 7 or 8 and being so excited listening to it for the first time in the car on the way to my party at my local amusement park. I remember watching Moonwalker over and over again. That's how I will always remember him, how he was back then when he was the most gifted performer out there and was worshiped and adored by so many. His music and performances will live on forever. Whatever went wrong in the end, his many controversies can't ever diminish the fact that he was a musical legend who gave so much to the entertainment industry and influenced so many people. That should be his legacy.

He ended up such a tragic figure and it's heartbreaking. Also you can't forget his three kids, I don't know what sort of life they led with him but I sincerely hope they turn out happy and are able to lead normal lives. My thoughts are with them.

RIP

Just wanted to wish nikunena  many happy returns on her birthday, hope you've had a lovely day and enjoyed yourself!!

The *boys* also wanted to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY too XD

......well apparently it's true!!! lol

This morning for work I went to a meeting where the junior doctors were giving presentations on unusual cases that had come through eye casualty. It was actually quite informative and I thought I'd share a couple of them with you in case you're interested. Be warned the second one is not for the sqeamish nor should you be eating whilst reading it!!!

( Case One (a bit amusing) )

( Case Two (not for the sqeamish!!) )

So that was my enlightening but disturbing morning!!

Stolen from blackember and zeraparker

The handbag meme:
Rules
1. Take a Picture of the stuff you usually carry around
2. Add a short description to every item
3. Keep this going by tagging five friends of your choice

Anyone who hasn't done it already and wants to, feel free ;)

( Me handbag :)  )

Well am just back from seeing my little nephew and so am a little tired now - playing with a 2 yr old and driving for a few hours is quite knackering in one day!!

I don't get to see him that often so it was nice and it was the first time that he was actually calling me by my name :) He's Thomas the Tank engine mad at the moment. It'll be good when he's a little older and then maybe I can convert him to F1. His dad is a huge rugby and cricket fan so I might be fighting a losing battle, but I think little boys should prefer fast cars over anything else so we'll have to see really.

So back to work again tomorrow, I can't really complain as it's only about a month til my next holiday - 2 weeks in the sun YAY!!! Can't wait :D

So am wondering what to do - I could....

1) Mess around on teh internet
2) Clean/tidy my room :( - it badly needs doing but hey I'm lazy)
3) Watch Gilmore girls - basically did this yesterday, a very productive day indeed *nods*
4) Go food shopping - have just about enough food to last a couple of days...so maybe not :)
5) Go for a walk - would be tempting but the wather outside is screaming no :(
6) Read and maybe finally finish Eclipse - couldn't read the first two quick enough but this one I've been reading forever and have got stuck....it's getting just too annoying

Right so I know what I SHOULD do, but in all likelihood it'll end up being either 1 or 3 *sighs* am SOOO lazy and boring....

Well here we go again - this is my second attempt at this LJ thing and really hope to stick to it this time and give it a go as I think it could be fun.